the wave
After having spent much of my life as a patient in hospitals undergoing what seemed like an endless barrage of tests in order to try to get a handle on my seizure disorder I have thought many times about how I, as an artist myself, would love the opportunity to be able to create artwork for the walls that I spent so much time staring at. So when Dr. Mark Richardson, the Director of Neurosurgery at Massachusetts General Hospital (MGH), reached out to me after seeing my work featured on the cover of Practical Neurology and remarked that he loved it and would like to commission a piece for his new lab at MGH, I was thrilled.
As we began talking about what kind of artwork I could create, I thought a lot about the symbolism of the ocean and how the waves he so loves (as an avid surfer), are the perfect metaphor for the ever changing nature of life. They symbolize the challenges that face us all, but specifically for those of us who live with unpredictable neurological conditions such as Epilepsy. There is a constant and acute awareness of how fragile our tenuous hold on our own consciousness can be, and how easily and quickly it can be ripped away from us.
This painting also marks the spectacular success of my own brain surgery, which involves receiving an RNS implant in the hopes of providing non-medicinal therapeutic treatment for my seizures, which was overseen by Dr. Richardson himself almost 2 years ago.
So I began painting a huge ocean wave, one like you would probably see in a tropical climate, while overlaying EEG readouts I had gotten from Dr. Richardson of my actual brain activity directly from the RNS device. Warping the EEG around, I incorporated it into the big wave in the foreground so that the lines of the EEG created the crests and white foam of the waves. When you zoom in to the image of just the painting above, you’ll find my own wave patterns painted into the mountain in the background.
My goal with this artwork was to create a piece that not only looks beautiful, but also reflects my experience of living with an unpredictable, uncontrollable seizure disorder. However now, with the aid of my doctors and this incredible device, I am experiencing the first true taste of freedom from seizures as well as much of the medications and their side effects that I took continuously for over two decades.
The activity is now controlled and contained, much like the powerful barrel of the wave and spray is contained within the outline of the head and concentrated within the brain, in my painting.
“The Wave” Triptych in the Brainlab at Massachusetts General Hospital